How to Be More Engaging: 8 Communication Skills for Leaders

By Stephanie Bickel

Have you ever received the feedback, "You need to be more engaging"?

I hear this often in my coaching work.

The problem is that "be more engaging" can mean almost anything.

Does the person want you to ask more questions?

Talk more? Talk less?

Make the content more interesting?

Use more vocal energy and body language?

Be more commanding?

Or maybe you're coming across as too serious or intimidating.

Before you start changing everything about how you communicate, find out what the feedback actually means.

Ask:

"When you say you'd like me to be more engaging, what would you like to see me do differently?"

The answer may surprise you.

Once you know what your audience needs, you can start working on the specific behaviors that will make a difference.

Here are eight things we coach leaders to try.

How to Be More Engaging When You Speak

1. Begin With a Question

Start with a rhetorical question that connects directly to the purpose of the meeting.

Instead of opening with:

"Today I'm going to walk you through our plan for next year."

Try:

"What would it take for us to grow this business by 20 percent next year?"

Now you've given people something to think about.

A good opening question gets the audience involved before you've started giving them information.

2. Balance Telling and Asking

Pay attention to how much time you spend talking at people.

Try to balance telling and asking 50-50.

Share your point of view, and then invite theirs.

Ask:

• "What are you seeing?"

• "What are we missing?"

• "Where do you disagree?"

• "What would make this work?"

Engagement requires participation. Give people a reason to enter the conversation.

3. Use Fewer Slides and Fewer Words

More content does not automatically make a presentation more valuable.

Constrain the number of slides you use. Then reduce the number of words on each slide.

Your audience should be listening to you, not silently reading paragraphs on a screen.

If you're presenting virtually, this becomes even more important. A content-heavy slide can take over the entire conversation.

Put the most important idea on the screen and talk about it.

4. Use Better Gestures

Your gestures should help us understand what you're saying.

Use your hands to show size, direction, contrast, growth, movement, or importance.

Then return your hands to neutral.

Don't gesture constantly. If everything gets a gesture, nothing feels important.

Choose the moments where your body can help reinforce the message.

5. Speak Louder

This is one of the simplest changes you can make.

Speak louder than you normally do.

Many professionals become quieter when they're trying to sound thoughtful or when they're presenting to senior people. Unfortunately, lower volume can also reduce the energy of the message.

You don't need to shout.

Give your voice enough breath and energy to carry the idea.

6. Use More Facial Expression

Your face is part of the message.

If your expression stays exactly the same while you're talking about a problem, an exciting opportunity, a frustrating setback, and a major win, your audience has to work harder to understand how you feel about what you're saying.

Create more contrast.

Smile when you're excited. Let concern show when the issue is serious. Use your expression to support the meaning of the words.

And when you can, smile more.

7. Let People See You Enjoying Yourself

Humor can help people connect with you.

You don't need jokes. You don't need to become the funniest person in the room.

Look for moments of lightness. Tell a story. Laugh when something is funny.

Let people see that you enjoy the conversation and enjoy being with them.

Energy is contagious.

8. Really Look at Your Audience

This sounds simple, but it makes an enormous difference.

Look at people.

Don't look over their heads. Don't spend the entire presentation looking at your slides. Don't stare at your notes.

Make eye contact long enough to create an actual connection.

If you're presenting to a group, move your attention around the room. Finish a thought with one person before moving to someone else.

Let people feel that you are speaking with them, not simply delivering information in their direction.

Your Mindset Can Make You More Engaging

You can practice all eight techniques and still struggle if you're thinking:

• "I hope they like this."

• "I hope I don't mess up."

• "I need to prove that I know what I'm talking about."

When you're focused on yourself, it becomes harder to connect with the people in front of you.

Mindset shifts can help these behaviors come out much more naturally.

Before your next important meeting, try these four thoughts:

1. "I have great colleagues and clients. I'm curious what they think."

Curiosity changes the conversation.

You start listening differently. You ask better questions. You stop feeling responsible for having every answer.

2. "I have a great idea."

Believe in the idea you're bringing into the room.

When you believe it matters, we hear more conviction in your voice and see more energy in your delivery.

3. "I'm on a mission to solve a serious problem."

Take the focus off yourself and put it on the problem.

Your job isn't to perform perfectly. Your job is to help the group make progress.

4. "We're making progress every day."

Leaders create momentum.

When you believe progress is possible, that optimism comes through in your voice, face, and language.

What Does It Really Mean to Be More Engaging?

Being engaging doesn't mean becoming louder, funnier, more charismatic, or more extroverted.

It means getting your audience involved.

Ask better questions. Give them room to contribute. Use your voice and body to bring energy to the message. Look at people when you're talking to them. Make the content easier to follow.

Most importantly, stop trying so hard to look engaging.

Get interested in the people in front of you and the problem you're there to solve.

That's usually when you become much more engaging.

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Continue Improving Your Leadership Communication

Your voice is only one part of becoming a more impactful communicator. The strongest leaders know how to use their voice, structure their message, tell compelling stories, and communicate with confidence in high-stakes moments.

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