Virtual Relationship Building: 9 Communication Skills for Leaders
Updated: Aug 16
by Stephanie Bickel
Strong professional relationships don't require being in the same room.
Leaders today build relationships across offices, time zones, video calls, and hybrid teams. The challenge is that many of the small interactions that naturally build trust in person don't happen as easily when you're communicating through a screen.
That means you have to be more intentional.
Virtual relationship building starts with how you communicate. When you combine thoughtful communication with genuine curiosity and empathy, people feel the difference. This is especially important for leaders working with clients, colleagues, and stakeholders they may rarely see in person.
Here are nine ways to build stronger professional relationships virtually.
1. Get Curious About What Matters to Them
Relationships deepen when people feel that you are interested in more than the next deliverable.
Pay attention to what people talk about with energy. Ask about their interests, priorities, and what they are working toward.
Virtual meetings can sometimes give you natural conversation starters. You may notice a book, photograph, award, or something else in someone's environment. If it feels appropriate, ask about it.
The goal isn't small talk for the sake of small talk. It's learning more about the person you're working with.
2. Bring Something Different to Virtual Meetings
If every virtual meeting follows the same routine, people start showing up on autopilot.
Find appropriate ways to change the experience. Introduce a short activity. Ask a different opening question. Share a useful video. Use a visual instead of another page of bullet points.
It doesn't need to be elaborate.
A small change in format can bring energy back into a meeting and give people another way to participate.
3. Ask About Communication Preferences
One of the easiest ways to strengthen a professional relationship is simply to ask:
How do you prefer to communicate?
Some people want the details in advance. Others want a quick conversation first. Some appreciate frequent updates. Others only want to hear from you when a decision needs to be made.
Don't assume everyone wants to communicate the way you do.
Ask what works for them, listen to the answer, and adjust when you can.
4. Minimize Readouts
One of the fastest ways to lose people virtually is to spend the meeting reading a deck they could have reviewed themselves.
Send pre-reads one to two days in advance whenever possible. Use the meeting for discussion, decisions, questions, and the issues that actually require everyone's attention.
If you do need to share slides, simplify.
Choose the three to five visuals that matter most. Remove unnecessary footnotes and details from your display copy. Give people something they can understand quickly while they are listening to you.
A virtual meeting should not become a narrated PowerPoint.
5. Help People Build Their Capabilities
Don't think only about what you need from the relationship. Think about what you can contribute to it.
Can you teach them something useful? Share a framework? Introduce a resource? Help someone on their team strengthen a skill?
People remember the colleagues, advisors, and leaders who help them get better.
This is particularly valuable in professional services. Your expertise should show up not only in the work you deliver, but also in what people learn from working with you.
6. Bring Insights, Not Just Updates
Don't wait around to be an order taker.
If you see something that could help a client or colleague, bring it to them.
Share an observation. Identify a trend. Raise a question they may not have considered. Connect something you're seeing in one part of the business to an opportunity somewhere else.
Strong relationships are built when people know you are thinking about their business even when they haven't asked you for something.
That is how you become a trusted advisor rather than simply another person completing a task.
7. Recognize People Often
Recognition matters, especially when teams don't see one another every day.
If someone handled a difficult conversation well, tell them.
If they made your job easier, acknowledge it.
If you notice good work, don't save the compliment for the annual review.
A short email, message, call, or comment during a meeting can reinforce a relationship.
Be specific. "Great job" is nice. "You handled those questions calmly and kept the conversation focused" tells someone exactly what you noticed.
8. Make Room for the Personal
Professional does not have to mean impersonal.
Make space for people to tell you what's going well, what's been difficult, and what's important to them.
You don't need to turn every meeting into a personal conversation. You do need to know when to stop moving through the agenda and listen.
Some of the strongest professional relationships are built in those few minutes before or after the formal conversation.
9. Respect Their Time
Being mindful of someone's time is one of the simplest ways to demonstrate respect.
Try scheduling a 30-minute call for 20 minutes or a one-hour meeting for 45 minutes.
Could you reduce your meeting time by 25 percent and still accomplish the same goal?
Keep agendas focused. Be clear about what needs to be accomplished. Send information in advance when it doesn't require discussion. End early when the work is done.
People notice leaders who give them time back.
How to Get Better at Virtual Relationship Building
The technology is not what creates the relationship. Your communication does.
If you want to strengthen your virtual relationship building, start by looking at the experience you create for other people.
Are you curious about them?
Do you respect their time?
Do you bring useful ideas?
Do you listen to their communication preferences?
Do they leave conversations with you feeling clearer, more capable, or better supported?
You don't need more meetings to build stronger relationships. You need to make the interactions you're already having more valuable.
Choose one or two of these practices and use them intentionally this week. Small changes in how you communicate can have a significant impact on how people experience working with you.
Continue Improving Your Leadership Communication
Your voice is only one part of becoming a more impactful communicator. The strongest leaders know how to use their voice, structure their message, tell compelling stories, and communicate with confidence in high-stakes moments.
Continue your communication growth with these Speak by Design resources:
Listen to the Speak by Design Podcast
Get practical leadership communication strategies, real executive coaching examples, and tools you can apply in your next meeting, presentation, or conversation.
Read the Speak by Design Book
Discover the communication frameworks leaders use to earn trust, increase influence, and make their messages memorable.
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