“Work on your presence.” “Be a bigger force in meetings.” “Be more expressive.”
Have you heard this from a colleague or given this advice? This kind of feedback is an invitation from those around you to be a bigger force. It is a myth to believe that one is born charismatic or more interesting than another person.
Charismatic people have either consciously or unconsciously developed a set of very specific mindsets and behaviors that help their audiences react positively. Magnetism can be learned and perfected by anyone. To develop your unique authentic form of magnetism, work on beliefs, behaviors, and branding.
The best way to ignite behavioral change is to begin with the 4 beliefs.
I love my audience
I am the expert
I am fighting to solve a serious problem
I will make progress today
Most often it is mindset and thought patterns that prevent people from being their most charismatic self. Determine which thoughts are weak and begin working on shifting those thoughts. Maybe you have to take some action to strengthen that thought, or maybe you just need to reconcile it. For example, maybe you are not the subject matter expert in the room, but you are an expert listener and problem solver. Let that help you feel like an expert in the discussion.
Mannerisms, physical and verbal habits, and your reactions to pressure all play a role in making you compelling.
Looking at a laptop screen in a meeting
Playing with your hair, clothing, fidgeting
Staring off into space or having a staring spot
Saying, “got it”
Extended eye contact, even piercing eye contact