5 Tips for Leading the Expert Who Won’t Listen

By Stephanie Bickel

Uncoachable or Untapped? What do you do with a high-performing expert who refuses to listen, share knowledge, resists feedback, and isolates themselves from the team? When someone is technically brilliant but behaviorally resistant, leaders face a painful paradox: their performance is mission-critical, but their presence is corrosive.

Even the most resistant expert can shift when the right levers are pulled. The bad news is that traditional performance management approaches, like direct feedback or escalation, often backfire with these personalities. You need a different path.

There’s a dangerous myth in high-performance cultures: that results excuse behavior. They don’t. Communication is part of performance. If an expert can't collaborate, they are not yet great. Great experts create other experts. They elevate the whole team.

Start by recognizing that influence precedes correction. If they don’t trust you, they won’t change for you.

5 Ways to Lead the Expert Who Won’t Listen

1. Earn the Right to Challenge: Show up in their world first. Support them in meetings, endorse their contributions, and find shared language. Respect builds the bridge.

2. Use the Power of Perception: Offer a mirror, not a mandate. Say, "Here’s what I’m seeing, and I’m sharing it because I have high expectations and know you can grow."

3. Position Coaching as an Investment: Tell them, "We’re willing to invest in your growth. Are you saying you don’t want that?" Let the weight of opportunity create curiosity.

4. Promote Openness by Culture: Say the word 'open' constantly. "We value open dialogue. We have an open culture." Let it become part of the air they breathe.

5. Connect Performance to Promotion: Make it clear: "Advancement means creating more experts. No one gets out of this job unless they can build others up."

A leader shared that the turning point with their resistant expert came not through confrontation, but connection. Weekly 1:1s became a safe space to talk shop and share insights. Over time, feedback landed better because it was rooted in relationship, not rank.

Another tactic? Use a 360 assessment. When eight or more peers contribute anonymous feedback, the data speaks louder than hierarchy. Resistance gives way to reflection when the message is depersonalized.

What not to do? One client described an expert who dominated discussions and dismissed ideas. They started every meeting with the phrase, "I'm just going to say this now so we don't waste time." It drained morale.

The leader began framing feedback with the phrase, "I'm sharing this because I know what you're capable of, and others need to see you the way I do." Eventually, the expert began coaching a junior teammate, their first real act of collaboration. That small gesture became the wedge that opened a new path. An expert role can be a lonely professional track. Great experts are those who create other experts on the team.

Picture your expert walking into a meeting, still confident, but now open to feedback, ideas, and generous with information. They ask questions, invite feedback, and pass on their knowledge. They've gone from soloist to mentor. From threat to multiplier.

And you? You didn’t break them down. You built them up.

By seeing the leader they could be, before they did.

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