How to Command the Room: Physical Presence That Speaks Before You Do
- Stephanie Bickel
- Jul 31
- 3 min read
By: Stephanie Bickel
Great leaders don’t just deliver strong messages, they deliver them with presence.
You’ve seen it before: someone walks into a room and everyone turns to look. They haven’t spoken yet, but they’ve already made an impression.
That’s what it means to command the room.
At Speak by Design, we coach leaders to build a magnetic presence by mastering the nonverbal signals that shape perception often more than their words. If you want to increase your executive presence, start with what your body is saying.
Why Physical Presence Matters
Before you say a single word, your audience has already made decisions about you.
Do you look confident?
Do you appear trustworthy?
Are you someone they want to listen to?
Nonverbal communication is often more powerful than your content. In fact, research shows that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal in high-stakes conversations.
Five Ways to Master How to Command the Room
1. Posture
Stand or sit tall. Shoulders back, chin level, spine aligned. Your posture should say “I belong here” before you say anything else.
Pro tip: Keep both feet grounded to avoid shifting or swaying.
2. Gesture
Use intentional hand gestures to match and emphasize your message. Avoid fidgeting or folding arms.
Open palms = transparency and warmth
Precision gestures (like the “pincer”) = authority
Steepling = confidence without aggression
3. Eye Contact
Engage with your audience by holding eye contact just a few seconds longer than feels natural. It builds trust and shows focus.
Pro tip: Don’t scan. Land eye contact with one person at a time.
4. Stillness
Stillness shows control. Movement should be deliberate, not distracting. Avoid pacing, rocking, or swaying. Move with purpose, especially during transitions.
When you stop moving, people start paying attention.
5. Facial Expressions
Your face should match the energy and emotion of your message. Too neutral? You risk seeming disconnected. Too animated? You risk seeming scattered.
Practice with a mirror or recording. Does your expression match your message?
Try These Executive Presence Experiments
The fastest way to grow your presence is through conscious contrast. Try one of these in your next meeting or presentation:
Experiment | Why It Works |
Alternate between loud voice and a whisper | Creates energy and tension |
Alternate between piercing eye contact and reflective gaze | Shows range and deepens engagement |
Alternate between eyebrows up and down | Signals interest and emotional shifts |
Alternate between long pause and sharp interruption | Increases control and unpredictability |
Start a meeting with extra-high energy | Immediately captures attention |
Close a meeting abruptly and definitively | Signals leadership and clarity |
Presence is as much about contrast as it is about consistency.
“You can’t always control the room, but you can control the signals you’re sending in it.”— Stephanie Bickel
Commanding the room isn’t about being the loudest, it’s about using your presence to lead.
When you align your physical signals with your message, people don’t just hear you, they believe you.
Exercise: Video Yourself Before and After
Record yourself delivering a short message or opening a meeting. Then, repeat the same delivery using the five physical presence elements and one experiment from the list above.
Watch both clips side by side and ask:
Which version holds attention longer?
Which version reflects stronger presence?
Which version would I want to follow?
Then choose one change to practice every day this week.
If you want to command the room with confidence before you even speak, Speak by Design University is where you learn how.
In this coaching experience, you’ll master the physical presence, message clarity, and executive communication skills that make people stop, listen, and follow your lead.
