How to Stop Saying Um: Is “Um” Really That Bad?
Updated: Sep 22
by Stephanie Bickel
We are often told that if we want to be polished communicators, we need to eliminate filler words.
But is saying “um” really that bad?
Not always.
An occasional “um,” “like,” “so,” or “you know” is part of natural speech. Most people use filler words from time to time, especially when they are thinking on their feet.
If you want to know how to stop saying um, the first step is understanding why filler words appear in the first place.
Saying “um” occasionally isn't a problem. Filler words become a communication problem when they are frequent enough to distract your audience, weaken the clarity of your message, or create an unintended impression of nervousness or lack of preparation.
The goal is to become more aware of your speaking habits and learn to replace unnecessary filler words with intentional pauses.
What Are Filler Words?
Filler words are words or sounds we use while deciding what to say next. They often appear when we are searching for our next thought, transitioning between ideas, or feeling uncomfortable with silence.
Common filler words include:
Um
Uh
Like
So
Okay
Right
You know
Some of these words have legitimate purposes in conversation. The problem arises when they become automatic habits that interrupt the flow of your message.
A filler word here or there probably won't undermine a strong presentation.
A pattern of filler words can.
Why Do We Say “Um”?
Most people aren't consciously choosing to use filler words.
We use them because our brains are working.
You're deciding what comes next. You're organizing an idea. You're searching for a word. You're responding to an unexpected question.
And instead of allowing silence while you think, you fill the space.
This is particularly common when speaking in high-stakes situations, such as delivering a presentation, answering questions from senior leadership, or participating in an important meeting.
You may know your material exceptionally well and still find yourself saying “um” while organizing your next thought.
That's why simply telling yourself, “Don't say um,” isn't always effective.
You need something to replace it with.
Usually, that something is a pause.
What Does Saying “Um” Communicate to an Audience?
Over the years, I've asked audiences what they think when a speaker uses filler words repeatedly.
Here are some of the responses I've heard:
They don't seem confident.
They must be nervous.
They didn't prepare.
The message sounds scattered.
I'm having a hard time following the idea.
They don't know what they're talking about.
They are inventing the idea while they speak.
I started counting the “ums” instead of listening.
They don't seem comfortable speaking to groups.
Notice what isn't on the list:
“They seem more relatable.”
This doesn't mean one “um” makes you sound unprepared or unqualified.
It means that when filler words become a noticeable pattern, they can create impressions you never intended to communicate.
Your audience may begin focusing on how you're speaking rather than what you're saying.
For leaders, that distinction matters.
Whether you're presenting a recommendation, leading a team meeting, or communicating with executives, you want your audience focused on your ideas.
And that's worth working on.
Is It Bad to Say “Um” During a Presentation?
No. Saying “um” occasionally during a presentation is not inherently bad.
The better question is:
Is my use of filler words distracting from my message?
If your audience barely notices them, don't become obsessed with eliminating every single one.
If people begin noticing the filler words, counting them, or struggling to follow your ideas, it's time to work on the habit.
You don't need to sound rehearsed or robotic to be an effective communicator. Natural speech includes moments of hesitation, reflection, and spontaneity.
The goal isn't flawless speech.
The goal is clear, confident communication.
7 Ways to Stop Saying “Um” and Other Filler Words
If you've developed a habit of using filler words, you can improve with awareness and practice.
Here are seven strategies to help you reduce unnecessary fillers and become more comfortable with silence.
1. Record Yourself Speaking
Speak for two or three minutes about a familiar topic and record it.
Then listen back.
Don't only count the filler words. Pay attention to when they happen.
Do they appear when you begin a new idea?
When you're searching for an example?
When you haven't decided how to finish a sentence?
When you're answering a question?
You may discover that your filler words appear at very specific moments.
For example, perhaps you say “um” every time you transition between points in a presentation. Or maybe you use “you know” repeatedly when explaining a complicated idea.
Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward changing it.
2. Make Yourself Aware of the Habit
Ask someone you trust to clap, snap, or give you another agreed-upon signal every time you use a filler word during practice.
You'll quickly become more aware of how often you're doing it.
This exercise can feel annoying.
That's partly why it works.
Once your brain starts noticing the habit in real time, you have a better chance of changing it.
Practice in a low-pressure environment first. You don't want someone interrupting you every time you say “um” during an important business presentation.
The objective is to develop awareness so you can begin recognizing the habit yourself.
3. Replace “Um” With a Pause
This is the most important strategy.
Instead of saying:
“The biggest challenge, um, is getting everyone aligned.”
Try:
“The biggest challenge ... is getting everyone aligned.”
Breathe.
Think.
Then speak.
A pause that feels long to you will usually feel completely natural to your audience.
And unlike “um,” a pause can actually strengthen your presence.
Intentional pauses give your audience time to absorb what you've said. They can also help you emphasize an important idea or create anticipation before delivering your next point.
The next time you feel an “um” coming, allow yourself a moment of silence.
You may find that your message becomes more powerful when you give it room to breathe.
4. Prepare Your Ideas, Not Every Word
Preparation helps reduce filler words, but that doesn't mean memorizing a script.
Know your key message.
Know the points you want to make.
Know the examples or evidence you'll use to support them.
When the structure of your message is clear in your mind, you spend less energy trying to figure out where you're going while you're speaking.
This is especially helpful when preparing for executive presentations or other high-stakes conversations.
You don't need to memorize every sentence. You need to know what you want your audience to understand, remember, and do.
That clarity gives you the freedom to speak more naturally.
5. Rehearse Out Loud
Thinking through a presentation is not the same as saying it.
Your mouth needs practice too.
Rehearsing out loud helps you hear awkward transitions, overly long sentences, and places where you're likely to lose your train of thought.
It also helps your message become familiar enough that you can focus more attention on your audience when it matters.
Practice your opening.
Practice transitioning between your main points.
Practice answering questions you anticipate receiving.
And pay attention to the moments when you feel tempted to fill the silence.
The more comfortable you become with your material, the easier it is to pause without feeling that you've lost your place.
6. Use a Clear Message Structure
Filler words often increase when speakers don't know where they're going next.
A simple structure gives your brain a roadmap.
Start with the headline.
Organize your supporting points.
Know how you want to finish.
For example, if you're presenting a recommendation to senior leadership, begin with the recommendation itself. Then explain the reasoning, provide supporting evidence, and clarify the next step.
When you know the structure of your message, you have a clearer path from one idea to the next.
This can be especially useful when you're speaking spontaneously or answering an unexpected question.
Take a moment to organize your thoughts before responding.
The clearer the structure is to you, the easier it becomes to communicate the idea clearly to everyone else.
7. Hold Eye Contact While You Think
When people lose their train of thought, they often look away and begin filling the silence.
Try something different.
Stay connected to the person or audience while you think.
Pause.
Then continue.
You don't need to fill every second with sound to hold someone's attention.
Maintaining natural eye contact can help you remain present and connected, even when you're taking a moment to organize your next thought.
And remember, you can look away naturally when you need to. The objective is to become more comfortable allowing silence without feeling that you need to escape the moment.
How Long Does It Take to Stop Saying “Um”?
There is no universal timeline for reducing filler words.
How quickly you improve depends on how frequently you use them, when they appear, and how consistently you practice.
If you've been saying “um” for years, you probably won't eliminate the habit overnight.
You also don't need to.
Start by recording yourself and identifying your most common filler words. Then practice replacing them with pauses during short conversations or presentations.
As you become more aware of the habit, continue practicing in situations that require greater preparation and presence.
The important thing is to recognize progress.
Perhaps you're using fewer fillers during meetings. Maybe you're becoming more comfortable pausing before answering a question. Or perhaps you've noticed that you no longer feel compelled to fill every moment of silence.
Those are meaningful improvements.
Don't Try to Become Perfectly “Um-Less”
Saying “um” is a communication habit.
And if you've been using filler words for years, you probably won't eliminate them overnight.
You also don't need to.
Work on reducing the fillers that distract from your message. Become more comfortable with silence. Give yourself time to think.
And remember that a pause isn't evidence that you've lost control.
A well-placed pause can make you sound more thoughtful, more confident, and more in command of your message.
The next time you're preparing for a presentation or an important conversation, record yourself. Listen for the patterns. Identify one habit you want to improve, and practice.
You are your own best coach.
Continue Improving Your Leadership Communication
Your voice is only one part of becoming a more impactful communicator. The strongest leaders know how to use their voice, structure their message, tell compelling stories, and communicate with confidence in high-stakes moments.
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