How to Stop Saying Um: Is “Um” Really That Bad?
Updated: Aug 27
by Stephanie Bickel
We are often told that if we want to be polished communicators, we need to eliminate filler words.
But is saying “um” really that bad?
Not always.
An occasional “um,” “like,” “so,” or “you know” is part of natural speech. Most people use filler words from time to time, especially when they are thinking on their feet.
If you want to know how to stop saying um, the first step is understanding why filler words appear in the first place.
The problem begins when filler words become frequent enough that your audience starts noticing them instead of listening to your idea.
What Are Filler Words?
Filler words are words or sounds we use while deciding what to say next. Common examples include:
Um. Uh. Like. So. Okay. Right. You know.
They often appear when we are searching for our next thought, transitioning between ideas, or uncomfortable with silence.
A filler word here or there probably won't undermine a strong presentation.
A pattern of filler words can.
Why Do We Say “Um”?
Most people aren't consciously choosing to use filler words.
We use them because our brains are working.
You're deciding what comes next. You're organizing an idea. You're searching for a word. You're responding to an unexpected question.
And instead of allowing silence while you think, you fill the space.
That's why simply telling yourself “Don't say um” isn't always very effective.
You need something to replace it with.
Usually, that something is a pause.
What Does Saying “Um” Communicate to an Audience?
Over the years, I've asked audiences what they think when a speaker uses filler words repeatedly.
Here are some of the responses I've heard:
They don't seem confident.
They must be nervous.
They didn't prepare.
The message sounds scattered.
I'm having a hard time following the idea.
They don't know what they're talking about.
They are inventing the idea while they speak.
I started counting the "ums" instead of listening.
They don't seem comfortable speaking to groups.
Notice what isn't on the list:
“They seem more relatable.”
This doesn't mean one “um” makes you sound unprepared or unqualified.
It means that when filler words become a noticeable pattern, they can create impressions you never intended to communicate.
And that's worth working on.
Is It Bad to Say “Um” During a Presentation?
No. Saying “um” occasionally during a presentation is not inherently bad.
The better question is:
Is my use of filler words distracting from my message?
If the audience barely notices them, don't become obsessed with eliminating every single one.
If people begin noticing the filler words, counting them, or struggling to follow your ideas, it's time to work on the habit.
The goal isn't flawless speech.
The goal is clear, confident communication.
7 Ways to Stop Saying “Um” and Other Filler Words
1. Record Yourself
Speak for two or three minutes about a familiar topic and record it.
Then listen back.
Don't only count the filler words. Pay attention to when they happen.
Do they appear when you begin a new idea?
When you're searching for an example?
When you haven't decided how to finish a sentence?
When you're answering a question?
Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward changing it.
2. Make Yourself Aware of the Habit
Ask someone you trust to clap, snap, or give you another agreed-upon signal every time you use a filler word during practice.
You'll quickly become more aware of how often you're doing it.
This exercise can feel annoying.
That's partly why it works.
Once your brain starts noticing the habit in real time, you have a better chance of changing it.
3. Replace “Um” With a Pause
This is the most important strategy.
Instead of:
“The biggest challenge, um, is getting everyone aligned.”
Try:
“The biggest challenge... is getting everyone aligned.”
Breathe.
Think.
Then speak.
A pause that feels long to you will usually feel completely natural to your audience.
And unlike “um,” a pause can actually strengthen your presence.
4. Prepare Your Ideas, Not Every Word
Preparation helps reduce filler words, but that doesn't mean memorizing a script.
Know your key message.
Know the points you want to make.
Know the examples or evidence you'll use to support them.
When the structure of your message is clear in your mind, you spend less energy trying to figure out where you're going while you're speaking.
5. Rehearse Out Loud
Thinking through a presentation is not the same as saying it.
Your mouth needs practice too.
Rehearsing out loud helps you hear awkward transitions, overly long sentences, and places where you're likely to lose your train of thought.
It also helps your message become familiar enough that you can focus more attention on your audience when it matters.
6. Use a Clear Message Structure
Filler words often increase when speakers don't know where they're going next.
A simple structure gives your brain a roadmap.
Start with the headline.
Organize your supporting points.
Know how you want to finish.
The clearer the structure is to you, the easier it becomes to communicate the idea clearly to everyone else.
7. Hold Eye Contact While You Think
When people lose their train of thought, they often look away and begin filling the silence.
Try something different.
Stay connected to the person or audience while you think.
Pause.
Then continue.
You don't need to fill every second with sound to hold someone's attention.
Don't Try to Become Perfectly “Um-Less”
Saying “um” is a communication habit.
And if you've been using filler words for years, you probably won't eliminate them overnight.
You also don't need to.
Work on reducing the fillers that distract from your message. Become more comfortable with silence. Give yourself time to think.
And remember that a pause isn't evidence that you've lost control.
A well-placed pause can make you sound more thoughtful, more confident, and more in command of your message.
YOU are your own best coach.
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